Funny messenger status message

• I am nobody, no body is perfect, therefore i am perfect!
• An answer to that nagging question ... I let the dogs out!
• Can I get your picture? I collect nature disasters!
• Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
• Good Girls are Bad girls that don't get caught.
• Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off.
• I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
• Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. 
• Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
• I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
• There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it's not a train.
• If you need space join NASA! 
• Children in the dark cause accidents, accidents in the dark cause children.
• A religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend.